Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just gargled with NyQuil
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
