hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I love having hate sex.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
