yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
