Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
