Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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