I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
