he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
