I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
