Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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