there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
