it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
