it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I need moral support for this bender
being pregnant is like rehab
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
