Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
