Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
