We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
