u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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