Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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