It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
