oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i already hear my dad disowning me
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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