i don't plan on having that self control this summer
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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