Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
