C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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