your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
