you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize