it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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