Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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