Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Randomize
