my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
When did we convert life to cartoon?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
