P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
