GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
