it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
