Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
