im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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