Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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