So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
