the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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