Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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