You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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