Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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