It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
