SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize