i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
