i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
