Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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