had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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