and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
