wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
