that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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