I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
