I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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