i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
