I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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