either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
