I looked at my own cervix.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
