I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
