So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
