this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
