Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
