soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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