I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
