Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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