yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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