I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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