I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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