I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
