That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
