I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
