just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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