he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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