Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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