i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
