Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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