I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
