susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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