Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
