You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
