we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
vagina is talking i cant
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
