he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
